1 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,189 Hold up! 2 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:19,322 Yeah, how--? Smooth as an eel. 3 00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,324 - Good morning. - Morning. 4 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,500 Something smells nice. 5 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,808 What is this? "Polish Gals"? Yeah. 6 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,593 The best sausage sandwich in Lucas County. 7 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,681 Are we celebrating? 8 00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,335 - Might be. - Might be. 9 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:33,510 Something to do with the billboard? 10 00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:34,903 Could be. 11 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:37,558 - Oh, it's a lovely billboard. - It certainly is. 12 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:40,256 I tried to talk Marv into putting up a billboard 13 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:43,477 congratulating us on the awards, and he did it. 14 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,783 And we've got the number for new subscriptions up there, 15 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,133 so-so... 16 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,135 Oh, man. She's calling right now. 17 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,485 I feel like I'm in Times Square! 18 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:54,445 Apparently, though... 19 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,275 - Yes? - It's backfired. Badly. 20 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:02,844 Marv put the number for subscriptions on the billboard. 21 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,368 So people who forgot to cancel their subscriptions, 22 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:09,459 have been phoning, in droves, to cancel. 23 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,375 Oh, here I am. 24 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,336 Oh-- Ned? Word to the wise. 25 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:17,685 Marv would hate to do it, 26 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,166 but just purely in terms of making savings, 27 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,908 he might cut a couple of pages from the paper. 28 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,781 Aerobics Instructor: We got this. 29 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,468 Guys, a recent horrible irony 30 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,470 has caused us to lose subscribers. 31 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,776 We need more award-winning stories. 32 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,083 So please. Come on. Ideas, please. 33 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:11,130 You can't have great ideas every single day. 34 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,088 - Take Mr. Digit. - Oh, my God. 35 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:16,004 No. Now, that germinated for a long time. 36 00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:18,224 Yeah, Toledo isn't big enough for great news 37 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,922 - to happen every single day. - You're so right, Nicole. 38 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,663 Our readers out there, they're punishing us 39 00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,882 by not being interesting, even to themselves. 40 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,146 Uh... We could put high school sports on the front page. 41 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,625 - Desperate. - All right. 42 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,671 Do you know the show Is It Cake? 43 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:33,761 Where people make cakes that are so lifelike 44 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:36,024 that you can't tell them apart from real things. 45 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,025 Yes. 46 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,201 We say that 47 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,508 we are doing that with the paper. 48 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:44,599 If they bite into it, they have to buy it. 49 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,341 - That's actually a good idea. - Yeah. 50 00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,908 Not what you said. I was talking to myself. 51 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,693 We start a crusade. 52 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,391 We create a journalistic crusade, right? 53 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,872 We pick an issue, and we just hammer away at it every day 54 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:01,310 from every different angle, like noble knights. 55 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,094 - Oh... - Sorry. Devil's advocate. 56 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:05,227 Isn't that kind of yellow journalism? 57 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,360 Making news instead of reporting it? 58 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,666 I mean, who are you? The next William Randolph Hearst? 59 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:12,582 No, no. Hearst played fast and loose with the truth. 60 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,715 The only thing he had good taste in was women. 61 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:15,977 His mistress, Marion Davies, 62 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,631 was one of the coolest women ever. 63 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:21,635 Probably cooler than any woman of today, it sounds like. 64 00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:24,290 No, I know someone as cool as her. 65 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,596 It's just Marion had a certain sort of a quality 66 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,250 that has never been duplicated. 67 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:32,559 She could be gritty, plucky, witty, alluring, beautiful. 68 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,343 She was a piece of ass too. 69 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:37,303 Yeah, okay. She was old-timey hot at best. 70 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,261 She's like what pretty was 71 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,567 before the polio vaccine and sunblock. 72 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,264 No. 73 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,832 She just came from a time when sexuality was more restrained. 74 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,486 That was a little weird. 75 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:49,532 Whoever ends up with Ned is a lucky girl. 76 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,405 Because it looks like his hall pass died in 1936. 77 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:56,322 Just picture Ned with this old lady of his dreams, 78 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,193 lifting her skirt, 79 00:03:58,194 --> 00:04:00,804 then finding another skirt under that. 80 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,198 Ooh...! Another layer. 81 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,813 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 82 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:14,470 I just do that in here to get the mockery out of my system. 83 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,080 ...and then there is another skirt. 84 00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,474 And then there is another skirt. 85 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:22,043 Oh, Marion. So many layers. 86 00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,784 I don't even know what I'm looking for. 87 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,829 Yeah. 88 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,701 - I feel better now. - Yes, very funny. 89 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,572 That's very funny. 90 00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:32,271 Let's get back to the crusade, okay? Let's think big. 91 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:35,317 What about a crusade against injustice? 92 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,451 Mm-hm. That's a bit vague. 93 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,453 What about something a little more specific? 94 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,368 Like, I don't know. Potholes? 95 00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,545 - Potholes. Yes, I like that. - Ooh, yeah. 96 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,068 Potholes is good. 97 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,070 Love that. Love potholes. 98 00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:52,073 Because everyone cares about potholes. Right guys? 99 00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:54,293 You know, there's a huge one near where I live. 100 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,642 It's so big it looks infected. 101 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,557 - Why don't we check it out? - Yeah. 102 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,080 Great. Let's do it. -Cool. 103 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,300 - What are we checking out? - Mare's pothole. 104 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,562 - It's infected. - I realized I have 105 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:03,954 a meeting right now. 106 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,217 Let's pick it up in like half an hour. -Sweet. 107 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:08,743 - Cleared mine right up. - Oh, thank you. 108 00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:13,050 I just, uh, remembered from your training session 109 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:16,532 that if anything happens romantically, uh, at work, 110 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,273 - that I have to report it. - Yes. 111 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,319 Yes, that's right. You have to report it to me. 112 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,495 You have to tell me all the details of what happened. 113 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,454 - It's my job to listen and to hear all the details. - Okay. 114 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,456 So don't skip any. 115 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:32,200 All right, um, well, uh, I have started 116 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,637 what I think might be a relationship, uh, 117 00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:38,380 recently with, um, someone who works beneath me. 118 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,339 - Oh my God. - Yeah. 119 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,167 Okay. Okay. 120 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:46,301 - That's insane. Okay. Um... - I know. 121 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,216 Was it consensual? I have to ask. 122 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,087 Yes, very consensual. 123 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,699 Says it was consensual. Awesome. 124 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,702 I'm so happy for you. Does she have a name? 125 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,486 Mare. 126 00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,053 Is that the Chinese one? 127 00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:03,579 No. She is, uh, white. White lady, blonde hair. 128 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,364 - Oh, oh, oh. Yes! - She's got blue eyes. 129 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,279 I know who you're talking about. I can see it in my mind's eye. 130 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,760 She doesn't know that I'm here, though, so... -Oh... 131 00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:13,850 Why? What now, she's threatening you? Is she crazy? 132 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,897 'Cause she-- she is the one that was in the military, right? 133 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:19,029 Or the army, was it? 'Cause she could be violent. 134 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,727 A lot of those people have concealed weapons 135 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,250 and they wear it around their ankle 136 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,904 so you would never know it's a woman with a gun. 137 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:27,821 It's not really a case of being worried about her behavior. 138 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,127 I think everything is-is-is good there. 139 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,607 But i-if I'm being honest, 140 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,479 I worry that we both love what we do, 141 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,786 but what if we don't have enough in common beyond that? 142 00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,397 We have very different backgrounds 143 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,355 and different tastes and-- Could this be a mistake 144 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:42,662 if we don't actually share those things? 145 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,012 Anything you wanna know? You can look, if you want. 146 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:48,145 - Uh-- no-- I'm-- - That's employment history, allergies. 147 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,409 Hey, don't give that girl any eggplant. 148 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,759 - Except for that eggplant. - Ugh. 149 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,370 I thought that maybe you could put it in your secure file 150 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:58,982 that I came in and told you and that everything's above board. 151 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,116 Just so Mare and I are both, you know, protected. 152 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:05,511 Okay. Above board, I'll put it everywhere. 153 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,947 No, I really-- 154 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,427 I'll write it down later. 155 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,298 But, okay. Come back and let me know 156 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:13,214 how it progresses and what happens and... 157 00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,172 If and when you guys have sex and how it is, 158 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,913 and what is the positions or whatever. 159 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,741 - There's-- - Do I need to tell you that? 160 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,439 Oh! No, not officially. 161 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,441 I just mean as friends. How friends go, 162 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,051 "We did it doggy, and we did it regular, 163 00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,792 and we did it front facing," or... 164 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,316 If you want. I think it'd be fun, come hang out with me. 165 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,970 I feel like we never hang. 166 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,059 We actually started front facing. 167 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,321 Good, that's romantic. 168 00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:35,149 We're the only mammals that do that. 169 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,107 - Is that true? - Mm-hm. 170 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,024 Yeah, I've never done it that way, but... 171 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,854 I need to bring Oscar down below for a quick word 172 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:47,336 with the all powerful lord of darkness. 173 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,469 I'm talking about Marv, but, um... 174 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,862 Adam believes that Satan is actually real, 175 00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,517 and it's fun to trigger him. 176 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,912 - Thank you. - Thank you. 177 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,480 Oscar, no. 178 00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,745 Oscar, Enervate would like 179 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,877 to buy Mr. Digit to run in our other newspapers. 180 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:11,533 I think we will both find this very lucrative. 181 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:12,926 As one man to another, 182 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,494 do you think lake boats are worth the trouble? 183 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,017 I do love to float. 184 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,802 How does $10,000 sound? 185 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:22,414 - Monthly? - As the full amount. 186 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,853 Okay, so not boat money. 187 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,159 I think it's an interesting first step 188 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:33,642 in what is sure to be a lively negotiation. 189 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,731 And I do love to haggle. 190 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:36,950 The dance of it. 191 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:41,433 So I will see you later at the ball. 192 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,357 - Hey. - Ah... 193 00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,794 Phil. 194 00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:57,144 You're coming along. That's great. 195 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,885 It's important to document. 196 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:07,807 Bro, this piece. The one you did yesterday. 197 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,897 "Construction workers building a factory for automated labor." 198 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,028 - That's fire. - Thank you, man. 199 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,726 I appreciate it. 200 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,554 How are you able to talk to so many people that work there? 201 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,730 Usually I can get maybe, like, one good quote. 202 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:20,733 So, like, what's your technique to get people to talk? 203 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:24,780 So basically it starts with a look, right? Eye contact. 204 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,217 And then we enter a flow state of conversation. 205 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:30,308 - Hm... - Just talking. And then, uh... 206 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,747 Nah, nah. I-I'm making up quotes, man. 207 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:38,751 - What? - Hey! No screaming, please. 208 00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,709 People are working here. 209 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,582 I hate getting quotes. You got to steer the conversation 210 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,758 so people say this one thing you want them to say. 211 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,369 It's disgusting. It's manipulation. I won't do it. 212 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,589 You can't make up quotes. You wanna get fired? 213 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,723 Man. I don't deserve this. 214 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:58,205 Don't stress, man. We'll figure it out. I'm gonna help you out. 215 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,251 - Yeah? Okay. - Yeah, we'll work on it. 216 00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:08,650 - Oh, my God, it's beautiful. - Right? 217 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,783 Can't you see this on the front page? 218 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,437 It's just so huge and infuriating. 219 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,875 Totally. It's like-- It's like a meteor hit. 220 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,964 Don't fall in there. You might end up in China. 221 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,793 Yes. Or, like, how deep is your pothole? 222 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,359 Or we could, like, run a whole thing 223 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,100 where we hammer away at it for months. 224 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,667 - Yeah. - Like "Pothole Watch." 225 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,322 You know? "Day 26." I... 226 00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:30,846 What's going on? Whoa, are you okay? 227 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,456 Yeah, I'm all right. 228 00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:33,632 I threw out my breakfast. 229 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,503 My blood sugar's dipping a little bit. 230 00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,983 Okay. Um... 231 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,724 Is there something good around here I could get...? 232 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,640 I'm sorry. There's literally nothing, but... 233 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,467 I mean, my apartment's right up there. 234 00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:46,470 I have, like, five quarts of curry I made last night. 235 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,559 We can go have a break and have lunch. 236 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,300 Uh-huh. 237 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:53,000 Oh, come on, you guys can find a place to go, right? 238 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,655 It's all right. 239 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,048 - Lunch with the doc crew. - Yeah. 240 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,050 - At Mare's. Work lunch. - Yeah. 241 00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,704 - Yeah. Let's go. - Okay. Let's go. 242 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,227 ...hard to measure the value 243 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,751 financially of what a newspaper... 244 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,187 I'm on with Perry Kronk, 245 00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,668 Wall Street Journal crossword editor. 246 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,408 It depends on a lot of factors, 247 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,019 but an award-winning syndicate game 248 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,455 can range from a few hundred bucks 249 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,066 all the way to two million. 250 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,200 - Really? Is that so? - Oh, my God! 251 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:23,421 Let me check some stats to see the latest trends in... 252 00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,902 No. Marv, I am so sorry. 253 00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,687 I don't know what's gotten into Oscar. 254 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,297 I did my homework, Marv. 255 00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,081 And I'm willing to sell Mr. Digit 256 00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:35,258 to Enervate for $1.2 million. 257 00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,043 What do you think of me now? 258 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,960 - Okay, Oscar, I'll consider it. - Okay. 259 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,659 Here we are. 260 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,705 Should be... 261 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:49,229 Bolt's kind of stuck. 262 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,014 The lock doesn't work. 263 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,930 Super's supposed to fix it. 264 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,019 - Homey. - Um... Act-- Sorry. 265 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,891 Can you guys wait out here for a second? 266 00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:02,242 I just wanna tidy up. One second. 267 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,504 Oh-- 268 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,680 Ow! 269 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,900 Need a hand? All right. -Nope! 270 00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:11,817 Hey, could I get a snack or something to tide me over? 271 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:14,384 I'm kind of a little bit queasy here. -Yeah. 272 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,430 Yeah? 273 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,563 Hi. 274 00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:22,871 - Well... - Hey. 275 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,265 You know Oscar's little Mr. Digit? -Yes. 276 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,615 Well, that little worm never reminded me 277 00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:29,182 to force him to sign a contract. 278 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:32,272 So now he's milking Marv for 1.2 million. -No. 279 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:35,579 Yeah. When really it should be us who's milking Marv. 280 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,321 Totally. We are the milkers. 281 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,760 - So how do we milk? - Well, we create our own game. 282 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,457 We come in a few bucks cheaper. 283 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,154 - Oh... - We are both very creative. 284 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,895 This will be easy. 285 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,029 - Oh... Child's play. - I'm a child, you know. 286 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,205 Mmm... Sort of. 287 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,338 This is it. Sorry for the mess. 288 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:02,258 Wow! I've always wanted to sit in one of these. Can I? 289 00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,130 - Oh, please. - What do I do? Pull this? 290 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,654 You better. Yeah. 291 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,438 Oh, man. 292 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,963 - That was my granny's La-Z-Boy. - Oh, that's nice. 293 00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,399 She died in it. 294 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,488 Cool. 295 00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:18,797 Okay. I'll go heat up some curry. 296 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,624 - Don't snoop. - I won't. 297 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,322 Oh, my God, is that you? 298 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,932 Aah! 299 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,455 - What was that? - Nothing. 300 00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,501 - You okay? - Yep. 301 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,289 You read all these books? 302 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,031 - Most of them. - Uh-huh. 303 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,250 Cool. 304 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,732 What's in this box? Is it a secret? 305 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:44,170 No, no, no, don't touch that. Don't touch that. 306 00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,562 No, no, no, that's my gun. 307 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:46,737 - What? - That's my gun. 308 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,044 - Don't touch that. - Okay. 309 00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:55,094 Ah... 310 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:58,097 This is it, it's the place that scammed my niece. 311 00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,012 "The Jurassic Immersive Experience Park, 312 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,753 where science and fun meet without refunds." 313 00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,930 - No, this is sketchy, man. - Exactly. 314 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,062 - Sketchy. - Let's get out of sight. 315 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:10,109 So we're gonna write an article and expose this scam. -Okay. 316 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,806 - I need you to go inside... - Yeah? 317 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,026 - ...get some quotes. - You mean like, by myself? 318 00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,289 I thought we were gonna be a team, dude. -Yeah. 319 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,552 You would lie and deceive, and I would watch, 320 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,380 - and just try to be okay-- - No, no, no. 321 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,556 You can do this. 322 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,950 Can't believe this is happening. 323 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,996 Citizen Kane. Yes. 324 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,869 Oh, yeah, no. My dad is big into physical media. 325 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,741 Gave me all these VHS tapes and a tape player. 326 00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,351 Nice. 327 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,224 Xanadu! 328 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,703 I don't... 329 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,880 Have you've not seen Citizen Kane? 330 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,056 Never seen it. 331 00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,840 - We should watch it. - Sure. 332 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:48,669 As research for William Randolph Hearst. 333 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,453 Yes. Yes, that would be great. 334 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,020 - Mm-hm. - Yeah. 335 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,893 I am thinking of a game. 336 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,634 - Good on you. - And the game is... 337 00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:58,941 Here it comes. 338 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:04,511 - I lost it. - Wall framed pictures. 339 00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:07,296 Ceiling tiles, smoke alarm. 340 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,863 Chair. Too much makeup. 341 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,910 - Don't look at me for ideas. - Go on then. Slap me. 342 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,607 - What? - Slap me. 343 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,739 Let's jar something loose. 344 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,306 - I like that. - Mm-hm. 345 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,569 Ay! Yes! Wow. 346 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,441 Number slaps. Number bungalow. 347 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,921 Number wack-a. Number thack-a. 348 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,835 Number. Number. Number Dash. Number Dash. 349 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:28,230 Oh, my gosh. I like that. Number Dash. 350 00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,711 - We made it. Number Dash. - Number Dash. 351 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:36,064 There are 45 other Number Dashes already out there. 352 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:39,068 Come on, Kenneth. Think, man! 353 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 354 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,256 Mmm... 355 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,345 - Yeah? - That is delicious. 356 00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,782 - Oh, good. Good. - Thank you. 357 00:15:58,783 --> 00:15:59,783 Wow! 358 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:02,743 Wow. 359 00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:05,702 I'm in. Confirm visual. 360 00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:06,965 Yep, I can see you. 361 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,662 Tuck your phone in your jacket pocket 362 00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:09,880 so the camera's facing out. 363 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,882 Walk and see who you can talk to. 364 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,145 I'm right there with you. 365 00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,496 This is pretty underwhelming, man. 366 00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:18,715 You see this, right? Dinosaur with the giant teeth? 367 00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,195 That's not realistic even. 368 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,849 - Terrible, man. - Yeah, it is. 369 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,199 No effort. 370 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,811 Wait, what's happening? I lost visual. 371 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,291 I'm just getting a couple pics. 372 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,294 Hey. It's 20 bucks to ride the dinosaur. 373 00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,253 This place sucks. 374 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,690 Whoo. Is there cayenne pepper in this? 375 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,387 - It's hot in here, right? - Mm. 376 00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:41,173 - It's a little hot. - Yeah. All good. I, um... 377 00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:42,348 - I like it. It's delicious. - The heat in this building 378 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,523 is so janky. 379 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,264 I'm gonna get the super. I know he's-- 380 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,787 I do this literally all the time. 381 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:50,225 Okay. Thank you. 382 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,631 - Hey. - I'm Jeff. 383 00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:08,548 Hey. How's it going? I'm Ned. Uh-- Radiator's over there. 384 00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,768 Yeah, it is. I see it. 385 00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,427 Uh... That's the refrigerator, Jeff. 386 00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,820 I think the fridge is fine. 387 00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,778 How's the curry? 388 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:22,866 Yeah. 389 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,609 Maybe you can have some when you're done. 390 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,830 - With my beer? - With your work. 391 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,964 Maybe don't drink other people's beers, buddy. 392 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,054 Seriously, how many have you had today? 393 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,446 Excuse me? 394 00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,493 I don't know, it just keeps, like, clanging. 395 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,539 - Dad. - Dad? 396 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,630 It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 397 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,459 I'm Ned. Mare's, uh... 398 00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:51,766 boss. 399 00:17:58,642 --> 00:17:59,686 Hi, Marv. 400 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:00,687 Hello, Marv. 401 00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,081 Now. 402 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,778 Uh-huh. 403 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,389 "Señor Number." 404 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:08,999 Why not numero? 405 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,089 Well, we thought it had broader appeal this way. 406 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,568 - Yeah. - Something for everybody. 407 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,004 But you're absolutely right. 408 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,572 Go hard or go home, it should be numero. 409 00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,574 Well, it feels to me-- 410 00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:22,536 And I hate to use this term, but, uh, racist. 411 00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:27,235 How so exactly? I'm not seeing it, Marv. 412 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:34,068 Well, see, what we have here is Mr. Digit by Oscar Martinez. 413 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,765 - Yes. - And then we have 414 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,463 a very similar concept, 415 00:18:37,464 --> 00:18:41,771 "Señor Number" and he has on a sombrero. 416 00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:44,426 - Yeah. - A big mustache. 417 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:45,993 - Mm-hm. - I mean, I wouldn't say 418 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,560 racism per se. 419 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:51,651 I mean, racism, on the whole is supposed to be negative. 420 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:55,307 And this is more sort of pandering. 421 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,309 - Mm. - Exactly, exactly. 422 00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:00,138 We are showing respect for this culture 423 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,271 by bothering to trick them into liking this. 424 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,012 - Pass. - Yeah, it's a pass. 425 00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,883 That's a hard pass, I'm afraid. 426 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,233 That's awful. 427 00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:09,712 You can't do-- 428 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,237 In this day and age, you can't really do that. 429 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,893 I'm-- I'm so sorry, I just-- I thought you were him. 430 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,679 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 431 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,897 I'm sure you were just on edge, 432 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,291 having to defend a woman's fridge. 433 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:26,207 You can always blame it on the "mleh" curry. 434 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,948 Hey. 435 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:33,388 Citizen Kane. Such a classic, right? Rosebud. 436 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,782 So... 437 00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,000 See you later, slugger. 438 00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,046 Love you. 439 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,313 Nice to meet you. 440 00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:52,451 All right. See that guy? I want you to go over to him. 441 00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,192 I want you to talk to him, okay? 442 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,367 I want you to get him to say, 443 00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:57,195 "This is not an acceptable museum." 444 00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,546 Okay. But I don't think he's gonna wanna say that. 445 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:04,332 Hey, man. That's an awesome dinosaur mask you got on. 446 00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:07,336 I'm really excited to talk to you. 447 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:13,428 Bro, what are you doing? That was a great opening. 448 00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,821 That was the most pathetic thing 449 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,518 I've ever seen in my entire life. 450 00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,216 You got me out here without a parachute, man. 451 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,174 What are you doing to me? Jeez. 452 00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,436 Travis. Travis. 453 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:22,960 Tr-- 454 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,919 If I was acting weird... 455 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,703 - I've never met a dad before. - I could strangle him. 456 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,227 My college girlfriend had two moms. 457 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,837 It's all I talk about in therapy. 458 00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,273 We are so codependent. 459 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,970 I was gonna watch Roseanne to prepare. 460 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,450 - That's really sweet. - I know. 461 00:20:36,757 --> 00:20:38,541 - Look. - What? 462 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,806 Those bastards. They filled it in. -Yeah. 463 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,071 - It's filled in. - And they did a good job. 464 00:20:48,072 --> 00:20:49,943 Well, there goes the crusade. 465 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,510 - You misspoke how? - I did 466 00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,120 a bit more research. 467 00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:55,253 The market is saturated with sudoku puzzles. 468 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,037 Technically, Mr. Digit is not-- 469 00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:59,780 You're looking at the lower end of my previous estimate. 470 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,348 So like 500k? 471 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,219 Like a few free weekends 472 00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,394 at a Courtyard Marriott. 473 00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,656 - All right. - The market-- 474 00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:16,710 Mr. Putnam. 475 00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,495 Marv. I love this company. 476 00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:25,152 And you've been a very good partner to me and Mr. Digit. 477 00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,807 So... let's just call it 500k. 478 00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,635 I know I'm leaving money on the table, 479 00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:31,464 but I'd rather sleep at night. 480 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,123 I hear you, I hear you. 481 00:21:40,124 --> 00:21:42,517 500k may be a little steep for friends. 482 00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:43,824 100k even. 483 00:21:44,825 --> 00:21:46,522 100k. 484 00:21:47,741 --> 00:21:50,003 You pay me, good sir, or I'm... 485 00:21:50,004 --> 00:21:51,613 - 25k. - Done. 486 00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:53,789 - Okay. - Thank you. 487 00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:55,052 Oscar. 488 00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,184 You're good. 489 00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,533 All right then. 490 00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:01,928 Cool. You live right next to a park. 491 00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:05,105 No, no, that's the Glass Club golf course. 492 00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:07,455 Nearest park's, like, 20 minutes away. 493 00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:09,457 There must be hundreds of acres. 494 00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:11,329 - That's all private? - Mm-hm. 495 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,592 Oh, yeah. I think they'd try and tackle any non-member 496 00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:15,071 who tried to use it. 497 00:22:15,072 --> 00:22:16,899 That's ridiculous. It's so unfair. 498 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:21,295 Glass Club bought 200 acres for $200 in 1910 499 00:22:21,296 --> 00:22:23,124 and pay zero property taxes. 500 00:22:24,473 --> 00:22:26,997 I think we've found a new crusade. 501 00:22:33,961 --> 00:22:36,310 Released in 1941, Citizen Kane 502 00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:39,357 tops every critic's list for greatest film ever made. 503 00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,881 Feast your eyes. 504 00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:43,361 What are we watching, guys? 505 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,146 - What do you guys want? - Oh, great. 506 00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:48,931 Sorry, chief. Couldn't find anybody to go on record. 507 00:22:48,932 --> 00:22:54,328 Oh. Oh, but this picture's amazing. 508 00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:55,764 - Yeah, this is-- - Can I see? 509 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:56,853 This is great. 510 00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:59,594 - Hey. - Good job, guys. 511 00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:01,857 Well, um, I'm so glad you like it, 512 00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,337 but I will now be resigning 513 00:23:03,338 --> 00:23:05,208 as a reportorial-style journalist, 514 00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,167 effective immediately for moral reasons. 515 00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:09,169 Here's my press pass, homemade. 516 00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,779 Thought I took that already. 517 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:13,173 Yeah, well they're pretty easy to make. 518 00:23:13,174 --> 00:23:16,698 I mean, Ned, it's pretty great. 519 00:23:16,699 --> 00:23:20,398 Yeah. I don't wanna lose you from the team, Travis. 520 00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,183 Would you consider staying on and taking photos? 521 00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:25,054 I think you would make a great photojournalist 522 00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:26,099 for the paper. 523 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,230 Yes. I accept. 524 00:23:27,231 --> 00:23:28,536 - Yeah. - Yes? Fantastic. 525 00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:30,582 Thank you. Take that from you. 526 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,279 Okay. We will miss your articles. 527 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,107 No one on the team got better quotes. 528 00:23:34,108 --> 00:23:36,327 That's right. Okay, see you guys. 529 00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:45,161 Please tell me you're not gonna watch me the entire time. 530 00:23:45,162 --> 00:23:47,773 No. 531 00:23:47,774 --> 00:23:50,253 Our good old friend William Randolph Hearst, 532 00:23:50,254 --> 00:23:51,864 he ordered all of his newspapers 533 00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:53,561 to pretend that this didn't exist. 534 00:23:53,562 --> 00:23:55,911 - Really? Dang. - Mm-hm. 535 00:23:55,912 --> 00:23:58,000 Come on slugger, nice and loud. 536 00:23:58,001 --> 00:24:01,090 Oh, my God. No. No, no, no. 537 00:24:01,091 --> 00:24:03,092 You don't wanna watch this. 538 00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:05,530 I-I absolutely do. 539 00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:07,270 - That's me. - Wow. 540 00:24:07,271 --> 00:24:08,837 I can't believe my dad taped over 541 00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:10,143 an American classic for this. 542 00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:12,581 I... I can believe it. 543 00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:17,193 ♪ Consider yourself well in ♪ 544 00:24:17,194 --> 00:24:19,239 I think your dad made the right choice. 545 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,546 This is perfect. 546 00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:24,810 ♪ There isn't a lot to spare ♪ 547 00:24:24,811 --> 00:24:26,246 ♪ Who cares ♪ 548 00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:28,815 ♪ Whatever we got we share ♪